T-shirts

You know how sometimes T-shirts can feel tight or stiff? I can’t stand most shirts because they feel too tight around the collar; it makes me feel claustrophobic. It’s the same reason I don’t wear turtlenecks or hoodies.

Man, I cannot stand hoodies. The hood part gets balled up around your neck and you look like a turtle (turtle, turtle). The pocket does no good for holding things, the sleeves are incredibly baggy. Honestly, how can people like that? Going for a jog in the park is the only acceptable excuse for wearing a hoodie in public, which is why I get grossed out when people wear them to dinner.

Hoodies that have elbow holes will make you look homeless. With t-shirts, a worn-in look makes you look like a rock star. In fact, the more holes the better. But if you pull an Adam Levine and buy your shirts with existing holes I will make you put a dollar in the douchebag jar.

While most people collect pressed pennies from museums, I personally enjoy purchasing ridiculous items from the gift shop. It is like my way of supporting the museum until I can afford memberships. 

When I went to the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space Museum in D.C. I bought a souvenir shirt that was so soft it didn’t need breaking in. I would even say it was softer than kitten taint, which is a term Zach Braff coined to describe his Kickstarter shirts. I truly loved the shirt because of my experience there. I remember leaving the Air and Space Museum wanting to work for the Smithsonian one day, and not as a night guard. 

The garment doubled as a form of comfort-- I loved coming home after a long night of waiting tables and snuggling into it. 

The day after I arrived in Illinois from Rome, I nearly cried when I found out it wasn’t in my suitcase. After I decided not to go back, and was unable to get stuff sent to me, it was gone forever. 

I hope to find a new shirt worthy of providing comfort during finals week and Netflix marathons when I visit the St. Louis Art Museum next weekend.